Unity – What unity?
Two and a half years ago, I wasn’t Muslim but I felt the sisterhood, it was real and it was such an amazing feeling.
I’m currently on a coach back from Wales; a 3-4 hour journey of boredom, thinking and reminiscing.
You see, when I told people I wanted to become Muslim, I felt the force of sisters coming together for the sake of Islam. Everyone asking when the ‘big day’ was, so interested and supportive. I felt like I was gaining another family.
Two years ago, I finally took my shahada and became Muslim, alhamdulillah, and I yearned for that sisterhood during my hardest moments. I searched for it but it was nowhere to be found. Where did everyone go? Abandoned, alone and down. I had nowhere to go
Eventually, I thought I had found these sisters again. I was so happy, but after they had all of my kindness, drained all of my energy and taken advantage of my kind-nature, they left. Time after time, I tell myself I won’t get close to anyone else, but I do. And the cycle repeats itself.
My heart is torn, it’s been twisted and pulled into a mangled wreck. It’s limp with disappointment. At first, it’s like you’re gaining a new family with so much support.. And then the support disappears, friends disappear and often, family vanishes.
Sadly, this is a regularly occurrence and many people actually leave the very religion that once brought them so much sisterhood, so much joy and so much peace.
Why? The main cause – lack of support and false promises. Tough situations with no support from family, friends or the ummah, as a new Muslim, haven’t grasped patience and trust in The Most High and eventually, they’re broken beyond repair.
I cannot speak for the brothers, but there’s barely a sisterhood. The little around is refined to certain communities where reverts don’t ‘belong’ – Support? What support? We’re pushed pillar to post and left in the gutter to fend for ourselves.
As reverts, we don’t expect you to understand, no one can understand us better than ourselves and no one understands our situation better than Allah (ﷻ) but please, I beg you, don’t let your brother or sister slip away. Your simple support may be what helps a sister to survive, to yearn for the better and stay focussed
If you invite someone around for Iftar or Eid, or simply promise something, please try your utmost best to fulfil that promise or don’t say it at all. Broken promises hurt more than not being offered at all.
Just because someone reverts, or you help them become Muslim, the support shouldn’t just stop afterwards. Help them, I beg you. Don’t let another sister, another brother leave Islam. Please, aid them.