Dealing with Pain, Loss and Adversities.
I woke up one day, and the world still seemed the same. The people looked the same, the city looked the same and everyone went by with their daily lives. But little did they know that for some their struggles were about to come crashing down. Their fears became reality and their losses became very real.
Struck with adversity, I was lost. Where do I go? What do I do? Why is this happening to me? I asked myself. Just, why? Time’s supposed to heal all, right? So I waited. I waited until I became numb to the pain, but it didn’t last long. The pain soon came back to haunt me and the knife plunged in deeper than ever.
Deep in reflection I asked myself – If time doesn’t heal, then what does?
You see, if I was losing vast amounts of blood, I’d go straight to a doctor. If my health was rapidly deteriorating I’d be prescribed medication. It’d help – but only temporarily, and then it’d return, the same way my tribulations continued to linger.
We are told in the Quran:
“Verily, with hardship there is ease”
After a lot of reflection, my desperation was real. Where is my ease we’re promised?
I had attempted to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. I mean, they’re my trials so I have to find a solution myself, right? But I couldn’t. I broke down into pieces. The weight of the burdens had left me crumbled in a heap of dust. I’d tried to seek additional help through people, but it only temporarily numbed me. Where else could I possibly go?
In utter desperation I poured my heart out until there was nothing left to pour. I cried so hard that any second now, my head felt like it was about to explode. Puddles of tears soak into my clothes, and in that exact moment my biggest flaw became evident – I had exhausted every single means in this world and only then did I seek the one who knew what my silence whispered. This kind of love couldn’t be traded, nor could this level of mercy be found anywhere else – but with God.
After pouring my heart out to The Most High, a sense of ease engulfed me. Of course, I was still facing my hardships – but I wasn’t facing them alone. And that was the turning point. In a mist of adversity, pain and loss, I was in such darkness that I had failed to see why I had been afflicted with the trials in the first place.
Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said:
“Whenever Allah wills good for a person, He subjects him to adversity”
And yet I had failed to see the benefits of my trials until now. My trials were a direct reflection of my relationship with The Creator. If I didn’t experience the loss in the first place, how would I have appreciated the gifts Allah (ﷻ) showers upon me day after day out of His (ﷻ) absolute mercy? How would I have fixed my relationship with Allah (ﷻ) if I hadn’t gotten to a point of utter desperation and realised there is none that can rescue us from hardship except Allah (ﷻ)?
Inna ilayhi wa inna ilayhi rajioon. I repeated to myself.
To Him (ﷻ) we all belong, and to Him (ﷻ) we shall return. We are told this, we are prepared for this – so why was I so annoyed about the loss I was facing? My losses were wake-up calls for me. They shook me until there was nothing left but for me to pour my absolute heart out to The Most Merciful. They pulled me back from wandering away and enabled me to see light through the darkness. And most of all, they made me realise how small I am in this world, and how much I need Allah (ﷻ) because alone, I cannot find solutions nor can I carry my burdens on my own back. He (ﷻ) is the source of the solution, all other means are temporary. Not myself, not others – but God.
Your path will be paved with pain, loss and adversity, but hang in there and reap in the benefits. Please, don’t try to find the solution yourself, turn to Allah (ﷻ) for assistance. This is your very chance to purify yourself and plead to The Most High. Say Alhamdulillah for your blessings and your trials. Without your trials, you’d still be heedless. He (ﷻ) is trying to save you, do you not see that? Find the light, seek it and you’ll be victorious. Everything comes to an end – but you don’t have to face it alone. Look for that rainbow after the rainstorm, strive for eternal bliss – Jannah.
“O you who believe! Seek assistance through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.”
(Surah Al-Baqarah: 153)