Dealing with Pain, Loss and Adversities.
I woke up one day, and the world still seemed the same. The people looked the same, the city looked the same and everyone went by with their daily lives. But little did they know that for some their struggles were about to come crashing down. Their fears became reality and their losses became very real.
Struck with adversity, I was lost. Where do I go? What do I do? Why is this happening to me? I asked myself. Just, why? Time’s supposed to heal all, right? So I waited. I waited until I became numb to the pain, but it didn’t last long. The pain soon came back to haunt me and the knife plunged in deeper than ever.
Deep in reflection I asked myself – If time doesn’t heal, then what does?
You see, if I was losing vast amounts of blood, I’d go straight to a doctor. If my health was rapidly deteriorating I’d be prescribed medication. It’d help – but only temporarily, and then it’d return, the same way my tribulations continued to linger.
We are told in the Quran:
“Verily, with hardship there is ease”
(94:6)
After a lot of reflection, my desperation was real. Where is my ease we’re promised?
I had attempted to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. I mean, they’re my trials so I have to find a solution myself, right? But I couldn’t. I broke down into pieces. The weight of the burdens had left me crumbled in a heap of dust. I’d tried to seek additional help through people, but it only temporarily numbed me. Where else could I possibly go?
In utter desperation I poured my heart out until there was nothing left to pour. I cried so hard that any second now, my head felt like it was about to explode. Puddles of tears soak into my clothes, and in that exact moment my biggest flaw became evident – I had exhausted every single means in this world and only then did I seek the one who knew what my silence whispered. This kind of love couldn’t be traded, nor could this level of mercy be found anywhere else – but with God.
After pouring my heart out to The Most High, a sense of ease engulfed me. Of course, I was still facing my hardships – but I wasn’t facing them alone. And that was the turning point. In a mist of adversity, pain and loss, I was in such darkness that I had failed to see why I had been afflicted with the trials in the first place.
Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said:
“Whenever Allah wills good for a person, He subjects him to adversity”
[Bukhari]
And yet I had failed to see the benefits of my trials until now. My trials were a direct reflection of my relationship with The Creator. If I didn’t experience the loss in the first place, how would I have appreciated the gifts Allah (ﷻ) showers upon me day after day out of His (ﷻ) absolute mercy? How would I have fixed my relationship with Allah (ﷻ) if I hadn’t gotten to a point of utter desperation and realised there is none that can rescue us from hardship except Allah (ﷻ)?
Inna ilayhi wa inna ilayhi rajioon. I repeated to myself.
To Him (ﷻ) we all belong, and to Him (ﷻ) we shall return. We are told this, we are prepared for this – so why was I so annoyed about the loss I was facing? My losses were wake-up calls for me. They shook me until there was nothing left but for me to pour my absolute heart out to The Most Merciful. They pulled me back from wandering away and enabled me to see light through the darkness. And most of all, they made me realise how small I am in this world, and how much I need Allah (ﷻ) because alone, I cannot find solutions nor can I carry my burdens on my own back. He (ﷻ) is the source of the solution, all other means are temporary. Not myself, not others – but God.
Your path will be paved with pain, loss and adversity, but hang in there and reap in the benefits. Please, don’t try to find the solution yourself, turn to Allah (ﷻ) for assistance. This is your very chance to purify yourself and plead to The Most High. Say Alhamdulillah for your blessings and your trials. Without your trials, you’d still be heedless. He (ﷻ) is trying to save you, do you not see that? Find the light, seek it and you’ll be victorious. Everything comes to an end – but you don’t have to face it alone. Look for that rainbow after the rainstorm, strive for eternal bliss – Jannah.
“O you who believe! Seek assistance through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.”
(Surah Al-Baqarah: 153)
Beautifully put!
I felt a connection to this post from dealing with certain trials in the past.
Its all to familiar, your right we exsorst this dunya until we realise its only Allah that can take us out of the trial he placed is in, in the first place subhanAllah, and with him is the beauty and wisdom.
And Allah says “so endure patiently, with a beautiful patience”
May Allah Aid is through difficulties and be the one we turn to in times of need and in times of gratitude ameen
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Really enjoyed reading your poem, thank you for sharing sister. It touched parts of my soul that only words can find. And JazakAllah Khair for your lovely words, ameen to your dua 🙂
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Waiyyaki sis ameen thumma ameen!
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I pray that Allah gives you the strength to get through it. 🙂 it was refreshing to read this.
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JazakAllah Khair for your kind words 🙂 I pray Allah (swt) gives me, you and anyone else suffering the strength and patience to deal whatever trials we’re faced with.
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Very well written and a beautiful reminder. JazakiAllahu khayran.
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Wa iyyaki, thank you sister.
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Slightly awkward but I’m a brother my Twitter is akh_shaan 🙈 lol
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Lol, awkward moment. Apologies. You just had a similar WP name to a sister on here. I think I follow you on Twitter.. Anyways, wa iyyak. JazakAllah Khair for your kind message 🙂
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That just gave me the lift I need 🙂 beautiful!
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Glad it was of benefit 🙂
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Thank you for writing this sister :’) I myself went through some adversity a year back. I sometimes had random thoughts of killing myself, it felt like life wasn’t worth living, I couldn’t handle the pressure. But then Allah was there for me. It felt like He held my hand and led me into the embrace of his love. This has been by far the best year of my life, because it’s the year I found Him :’) ❤
Allah bless you will all that's beautiful and wonderful in the world and hereafter! ❤
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SubhanAllah, I’m so glad you’ve turned your adversities into a positive. You’re a strong soul. May Allah swt continue to shower His blessings and empowerment upon you. Stay strong sis, with Allah swt you can get through anything 🙂
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Aameen Suma’Aameen 🙂 Thank you so much sweetest sister and I wish and pray the same for you ❤
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The word (الحزن) “sadness” does not appear in the Qur’aan except in the form of forbidding it
(ولا تهنو ولاتحزنوا)
or in the form of negating it
(فلاخوف عليهم ولا هم يحزنون).
And the reason for this is because there is no benefit for having sadness in the heart. The most beloved thing to Shaitan is to make the believing slave sad by taking him off track.
The Prophet (ﷺ) sought refuge in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) from sadness
(اللهم إني أعوذ بك من الهم والحزن)
Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: “Sadness weakens the heart and diminishes determination and wanting to go forward. And there is nothing more beloved to the Shaitan than the sadness of a believer.”
For this reason, be happy, optimistic and think good about Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى). Have trust in what Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) is able to do and depend on Him. You will find happiness and pleasure in all situations.
Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: “Don’t ruin your happiness with worry, and don’t ruin your mind with pessimism. Don’t ruin your success with deception and don’t ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Don’t ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesn’t prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.
You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with dua’as being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so don’t ever underestimate any good deeds.”
One of the righteous predecessors said:
“I make dua’a to Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) for something I want, and if He gives it to me then I’m happy once and if He doesn’t give it to me then I’m happy ten times because the first was my choice and the second was Allaah’s choice.”
As Sa’ady (رحمه الله) on him said: “Life is short so don’t shorten it with worries, grief, and sadness.”
So be the owner of a heart that breathes happiness and satisfaction.
May Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) make your times happy and may Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) forgive us all. آمِيْن ثُمَّ آمِيْن.
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Asalam O Alikum Sister! May Allah keep you safe and on Iman alway! Missing your posts and do write more! And if possible do come back on twitter!
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